Dear Caroline,
The day we found out we were having you, before we knew you were you, I knew that there was so much excitement that was getting ready to take place. We were thrilled and nervous at the thought of being new parents but we knew we had so much to look forward to.
Over the months and through the doctors appointments, every week we got closer and closer.
When we found out you were a little girl, our hearts filled with even more joy. People had always asked us if we thought we were having a boy or a girl. Mommy knew. In my dreams I saw pink plus signs and had dreams of a little girl in my life in the future. It was you.
We were warmed with the thought of a little girl as our first child. You already had your name.. Caroline Ann.
When you started kicking is when I started feeling my connection with you. Not just the little taps, but the larger movements you made that could be seen across my belly. I felt closer to you when I felt like you could actually understand and hear me when I would talk to you. The joy I felt when you would play. You would tap/kick when Ace would lay his head on you and you would wiggle a whole bunch when we would shine the flashlight on mommy's stomach. It was incredible to watch.
I've enjoyed and always looked forward to seeing you in our ultrasounds. You were always a delight to watch. You were always moving. Whether you were reaching with your hands and playing with your feet or if you were bouncing you legs, my eyes were glued to the monitor. You were adorable, even just in a black and white screen.
My favorite ultrasound was when I was 27 weeks pregnant with you, just under 7 months. Laying there watching you playing with your feet, I remember the screen being flipped to a different angle and I could see your face. I saw your beautiful lips and I could see you blink. You stopped your bouncing and you gave a big yawn right in front of the camera. It was the sweetest thing I had seen so far. I won't lie, I cried. Watching you move your lips and slowly work on falling asleep was precious. I enjoyed every second.
Ever since finding out about you, I've longed for January to come as soon as possible. I'm so ready to meet you and to find out who you are and who you look like. I have so many curiosities about you. Who will you take after? Who or what will your personality reflect? Will you really recognize our voices? I have so many hopes for you little one.
I hope you have your father's eyes and my dark features.
I hope you find smiling as contagious as your father and I do and I hope you laugh all the time.
I already know you are strong because of the things you've gone through, but I hope you always recognize your strength.
I hope you believe and have endless faith.
I hope you're never afraid to follow what you know is right.
I hope you find your place in this world that has been made especially for you.
I hope you're never afraid to go after your dreams.
I hope you always know how much we already love you and how our love will grow for you every day.
I hope family means as much to you as it does to us.
I can't wait to meet you, to hold you in my arms and have you look at me. I can't wait for all the adventures we will go through together. I love you now and I'll love you no matter what for the rest of your life. I hope you always know that.
Until we meet,
Your loving mommy.
Until we meet,
Your loving mommy.
